Invasion USA – Part 2

 

* If you haven’t caught Part 1 yet, click the link HERE

 

“Now, if you’ve never been to a Waffle House, just imagine a gas station bathroom that sells waffles. You’ve been to a Waffle House.” – Jim Gaffigan

We woke up to our 2nd day in the US in a rat trap with no real sleep, but keen to get on with the adventure, and trust me, the adventure was only just beginning.

2 things needed to happen today before we really got started:

1. We needed a new hotel room where the cockroach count was lower the the National Deficit
2. We needed breakfast – Stat!

We made our way to a Best Western which, believe it or not was the Hitlon compared to the Budget Inn. Checking in was easy enough, with the lady behind the counter being very pleasant to deal with. But she had a dark side that I was soon about to see. While my friend Leah was off moving the car a tad closer to unpack, I waited in the foyer of the hotel browsing through brochures. I heard the unmistakable sound of a Harley pulling in to the car park. A pretty solid guy of about 50ish came in to the hotel, fresh in his black and orange Harley coat and made his way to his room. His wife followed behind him. But he emerge from his room seconds later, obviously annoyed. Now he wasn’t aggressive or anything, but he did seemed agitated. It seems while he was out on his ride with his wife, house keeping had come through and made the bed and fluffed their pillows as they do. In the process, housekeeping must have moved some personal affects of this gentleman and he was none to pleased.

He asked the lady at the counter who had been in his room, he was polite and cordial considering he was obviously pissed. She replied that house keeping had been in, he then followed up by asking why they had to touch his things to do their job. Now our polite lady manager turned. She didn’t like what seemed to be some kind of accusation. Was he accusing her or her staff of stealing? I’m not sure, but that’s how she understood his questions.

She flew off the handle like I’ve never seen before. She started yelling and screaming and telling him in no uncertain terms that terms that he needed to leave or she was calling the police! Now Harley Man got cranky, he was being kicked out of the hotel he’d paid good money for, only for asking a question. And Crazy Hotel Lady was just getting crazier! She was yelling and screaming like a banshee, all the while I’m standing in the foyer thinking, “WTF????”

10 minutes later, Harley Man and Harley Wife had packed up their gear, loaded the car and the bike and left. Crazy Hotel Lady smiled at me and said, “He was crazy, I should have called the police!” I just made sure I towed the line and didn’t get on the wrong side of her!

Moved in, it was now time for the 2nd part of our cunning plan, Breakfast! I needed hash browns, bacon and eggs and I needed it now. And what better way to get these items than Waffle House?

Now if you’re from the United States there are only two ways to look at Waffle House. It’s either an abomination, or it’s something sent from God himself to make us happy. I think it’s somewhere in between. Depending on what time of the day you go there you’ll see any number of weird and odd things. But one thing you can always safely bet on, the food is bad for you, but it tastes oh so good! And it’s dirt cheap. 2 eggs, bacon, sausages, a serve of hash browns, a waffle and a large cup of endless soda will cost you under $10. Seriously, there is nothing in Australia that can compete. And I don’t care who knows, but I love it!

After a nice hearty breakfast, what does an Aussie on holiday do? If you said, “go get a beer.” Then you can give yourself a pat on the back! It was time to check out the Southland Park Gaming and Racing emporium. This place was essentially a dog track with a mini casino inside. With slots, dog racing and beers that were free (aside from a tip to the waitress) this place was awesome. It also helps when it’s directly across the road from your hotel room!

Of course it’s not just enough to have a few beers and a few bets, you really do have to get track side! Although it would have been a whole lot better if Number 5 came 1st like the plan dictated.

Oh well, next time. For now it was time to retire and get set for the next adventure, of which you can check out in Part 3!