Would you like fries with that?

I love me some Macca’s and who doesn’t? It’s fast, easy, no dishes and it could be argued it tastes great. One thing McDonalds has also done over the past 30 odd years, perhaps longer, is set the bar for customer service. They have lead the way in speeding service up so that you get your heart attack faster than any other fast food restaurant.

They’ve also set the bar for the way we do business, the McDonalds gurus have written all the rule books and if you’re going to follow a successful business plan, their plan is certainly the one to follow.

I’ve talked up Maccas quite a bit here, so when do we get to the bit where my gears have been ground? Right now, that’s when!

I don’t know about you, but about 90% of my trips through the drive thru window of any fast food chain, I’m accompanied by other people, usually the missus and a couple of kids, or perhaps a mate or two. So why oh why are Maccas making my drive thru experience so frustrating?

Incase you’re wondering what I’m talking about, it’s this. Here is my order for a for a standard visit to Maccas with the missus and kids in tow:

1 x Large Double Quarter Pounder Meal (no pickles, no onions – sue me, that’s how I like it!)
1 x Medium Big Mac Meal
1 x Happy Meal
1 x Medium Chicken Wrap Meal

Simple enough right?

You’d think so, but here’s how the conversation at the the little speaker box goes:

Spotty 14 Year old: Hello, welcome to Mcdonalds, may I take your order?
Me: G’day mate, I’d like a large Quarter Pounder Meal
Spotty 14 Year old: (Before I can finish) Is that all for today?
Me: Ahh no, can I get no pickles or onions on that burger?
Spotty 14 Year old: (Before I can finish) Sure, is that all for today?
Me: Ahh no, I’d also like a Medium Big Mac Meal.
Spotty 14 Year old: (Before I can finish) Is that all for today?
Me: Ahh no, I’d also like a Happy Meal
Spotty 14 Year old: (Before I can finish) Is that all for today?
Me: Ahh NO! I’d also like a Medium Chicken Wrap Meal.
Spotty 14 Year old: (Before I can finish) Is that all for today?
Me: YES! THAT IS ALL FOR TODAY!

For fucks sake, why do they have to continually interrupt you to ask if you’ve finished yet? Once I’m done ordering, I’ll let you know. The more you interrupt me the longer this is going to take. No wonder cars are piling up through the fucking drive thru.

But this doesn’t happen just in the drive thru, this happens inside the store also, when the rocket scientists they have manning the counter can see your family queued up with you.

Spotty 14 Year old: Hello, welcome to Mcdonalds, may I take your order?
Me: G’day mate, I’d like a large Quarter Pounder Meal
Spotty 14 Year old: (Before I can finish my sentence) Is that all for today?
Me: Yes, my 6 year old is going to order her own meal and pay for it with the money she earned from her 9 to 5 job she attends all week. Of course “that’s not all for today” you fucking idiot.

Is it really any wonder that by the time your brown paper bag full of heart disease in a bun is completely wrong by the time it gets to you!

Now GET OFF MY LAWN!